Being pregnant is just wow. I don't know where to begin. I'm slowly losing some of my traits.
Used to be a big eater, now I'm eating less cause I can't deal with how certain food taste even if it's my favourite food. I used to be able to eat that everyday and now thinking of it makes me sick so my food options now are really limited. At first it was quite depressing not being able to eat well cause you're hungry but your throat is rejecting most of the food. I also take much longer to eat cause I have to take a lot of pauses to burp before I can take the next bite lol.
I stop wanting to be in photos and stop taking photos of anything around me. I even hate scrolling through instagram now, or looking at my phone even. Used to love window shopping during lunch, like I can go in and out of Crate & Barrel, Zara, Mango, Pull & Bear, Uniqlo in 30 minutes but now I'm getting a headache from just standing in front of the clothes rack and when I start to feel the material of the clothes omg, instantly I feel like my skin will just freaking suffocate under those clothes *gets out of store pronto*. Looking at clothes, shoes, things, household items have become unbearable so I stop going in to any stores.
On some "ambitious days", I thought I'd slooooowly start surveying for baby's stuff but looking at things online gives me serious headache too.
Ever since I got pregnant, I couldn't get a lot of things done. I stop doing up to do lists cause it's pretty redundant. I stop drawing, I stop making pom poms, I used to be really obsessed and rajin making them after work and during my free time but now the yarns are just in my art box, it's collecting dust and I just cannot look at it anymore :(
Oh I just want to be COM-FOR-TA-BLE. I like wearing loose tops and the material has to be gentle on my skin. I can't stand wool or whatever material that's gonna stick to my skin when I start to sweat. My skin has to be able to breathe under it. I hate going out. I just want to be comfortable in my tshirt and shorts, bra-less, messy hair don't care. Going out = must put on "nice clothes", hair must be neat or tudung must be properly worn, my anak tudung always slides off, my anak rambut will come out and when I sweat, I can feel my scalp shrieking. Salutes fellow sisters who can rock the hijab and look like they have it all under control. I'm a mess. If I am not required to go out, I would rather stay in. It's no longer like back then, 'sayang, let's go out for fun and get desserts.' I used to have a list of places that I want to go to with Affa but now it's okay, never mind, let's just stay home please.
Wow this whole post has a lot of 'I used to this and that AND I stop doing this and that' haha. Not sure how long will this problems last but for now I'm trying to enjoy the extra attention I've been getting so far from being pregnant haha. I just hope to get more productive and get more things done soon. Being unproductive and uninspired just kills me a little. Hidayah needs some zest!
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